Death. Most of us never want it to happen. We never like it when other's die around us. How terrible does it feel to loose your grandma and grandpa. Mom and Dad. For some of us, our children. For all of my life, someone in my family, or at least a really close friend of the family has died every year. Sometimes a few within a year. Everytime was the same. I felt that horrible headache creep up on me within the first half hour of hearing the news. How I loathed getting dressed up to go sit in a funeral home for however so long. Listen to a sermon that most likely wouldn't have been picked out by the person whose funeral we're at anyway. Meanwhile, the whole time at the place, all I can think about is coffee. I don't know if it's a nervous habit. Or maybe it's something I've picked up from someone at a young age. All I know, is that I'm never more bored, and I'm never more depressed than at a funeral. In a funeral home first. And then maybe a church. But always a cemetary. With lots of rain. And gloom. As if the sky knew I was miserable, and wanted me to feel what misery I'm spreading to the people around me. How terrible of a time this part of the year is. Close to the holidays and all. I'm already missing you. This plain "music" playing out of the non-existent speakers in this cheaply made funeral home is making my ears bleed. These heels are killing my feet! I don't know how much more I can stand of this. Remind me again why we spend most of our day here? Why can't we do something only you would love to do? Rather than make our heads and bodies feel much worse than they already do. R.I.P. Grandma Betty.